thoughts of !ReeN

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hye there...i'm ireen a.k.a Erin among my friends..ya'll can address me with any name mentioned coz both referred to me...haha..let's make it simple..Political Science's graduate, i'm a daughter to my parents and an eldest sister of 5 siblings...happy go lucky, talkative sometimes..hey know me than u know how suffer u'll be..very manja???'s fact..wait, unpredictable and have something in mind..huhu...well try to be one of mine then u judge me k.. till then... XOXO

Dear Readers,

After 2 months of argument, quarrel and all,reconcile, talks and understand each other's attitude. It came to a solution of 1 year anniversary celebration at VS Jalan Ampang. We may not be the stable couple ever but at least we have tried to sustain it and that 1 month of no talking and no face to face, cant make us to be apart. It is just a training to deal with our emotions and eventually we lose. Running towards each other's arms...Hahaha..sounds silly right but hey... we've made and downs, on the rocks... just name it..the least we can do is be together at each other's side.

Everything went well so far. Emotion is there but could'nt bothered anymore...hahaha... I just wanna enjoy my life and listen to him... Something that I could not ever imagine is when someone sing a song to you while you are asleep.. So sweet!!! Which I was conscious and listen to every words of the song.... "Sempurna"...I am in a cloud nine.. hhehehe....

Alright.. that is all from me.. Kerja menunggu ni and essay pun.. sigh~

Till then,

Hello Readers,

So, what should I begin with??? A month to go for my confirmation date as a  permanent staff... woo~ it feels so scary to have this kinda examination... Goose bump.. hahaa..nayyy~ life a bit ups and down nowadays.. with kinda all the dramas but hold on for sec... Salam Maal Hijrah to All Muslims, its Awal Muharram a new year for us.. So, for all the wrongdoings and mistakes intentionally or unintentionally, from the bottom of my heart I am here wanna say sorry to all who is reading my blog.. people do mistakes and forgiven too... I might be rough and harsh but I have a good heart too.. ahhh~ my soft spot is my weakness..demmit! there ive said it.. hahhaa.. people may judge but let them be.. as long as we know, HE knows... it is always good when you have a good foundation because I am not mean afterall just wanna preserve one heart... So, sorry guys...

Ouh well~ I am always me.. but I think I am doing a good decision on Awal Muharram.. why wanna wait when you can move on... build a new life..hijrah.. does it people always do??? from bad to good?? if people still keeping a bad intention or perspectives...let them.. we are who we are..I am who I am... I dont need people to tell me what to do and whats not but I need them to be with me and be my companion but it is all from one's self right?? correct me if I am wrong.. because whatever we do it will always be our choice.. hurm~ sooo...we can't regret what we did before but we must, so, we should fix it and be better next time.. ouh.. I should always remind this to my self...yes!! I should.. Ye lah sape lagi nak tolong kalau bukan diri sendiri kannnn... at the end we will walk alone and decide because no one will be there forever.

Life is short than what we always thought... live life to the fullest and make friends more than enemies.. do your thang and if people dont accept it then let it be.. as long as you are sincere, because you know who you are and people dont... they will always judge, complaint and critics..You know who you really are.. just be yourself and be happy with life.. either they are in it or not, doesnt  matter now because they never were before and why wanna make a big fuss of it?? your life has nothing to do with them..if they are sincere they will realized it because happiness is always the best revenge not to say its a bad ones but it is the boost to make people feel the guilty conscious... ok guys.. think with your 'aqal' and not merely by listening to people.. life is effed up sometimes but this is reality.. dont trust anybody, because they will go against you in any ways.... people back bites, that is life but when people fall for them...that is just stupid..

I know because I have gone through mostly everything.. I have a tough life.. I dont have clique and I dont like to stick to one clique except for one man because I can explore and expose to the world.. that is just me.. I like to make friends but I seldomly attached to them so yeah.. if you are lucky, I will be closed to you and treat you well but need to bear with my emotions every months..hahha..kidding..even we bite our tongue right?? soo chillex and enjoy the rest of your life.. booyahhh! hahahha.. madly in love with the new series of 2 broke girls.. hahaha!

Till then readers,

all the flaws come from me and goodness is from Him..


Hi Readers,

Macam lah ada pembaca setia kannnn??? hahahah..

Ouh well, what should I begin with?? Hurmmm...let's see...I like to write anything that came across my mind and I dont mind if it sounds silly or stupid or the grammartically wrong or anything because I just like to convey my thought into written form and not verbally. I dont know why and dont ask me why, for me by writing it down I will think and write I guess so but somehow when you are not in a good condition you tend to do mistake and convey the wrong message like what I usually did... emotional bastards sometimes.. peace!!!

I know I know, I should control my temper in any source and not let it out like a lava. Fire everyone involved, how bad I am right? acting such a way.. Im sorry okay kawan-kawan, I bukan sengaja... But maybe it wasnt the right time to talk to me so I blew up which I know it was my fault... Sigh...

People hate me because I am good in destroying things and make it complicated. But I keep my close friends closer than others. I keep my family even closer because they are the only left for me to holding on. After all the drama and chaos, I realized that only true friends, who know the meaning of friendship will return to you back no matter what. I am lucky, day by day my friends from school and my teenage's time come to me and still acknowledge me as their friends. Meaning I am not bad at all, I  just having my temper and most of them already gone through it yet they still come back to me and still love me. I love all those poeple who are still close to me after know who really I am. Nothing is happening overnight right.. Time will always be the answer for everything.

Nobody is perfect, but I will strive to be a better person... maybe not today, not next week but in the future.. If people think that i am hypocrite or even a big liar... then I dont judge.. It is people's opinion, they are open to think and to say anything which I couldnt care less about it... like i said, I cant go to everyone's mouth and shut them up whenever they talk bad about me.. people's talk.. let them talk until when they can survive by talking about others, eventually they will get tired and forget about everything that they've said.. hehehehhe...

See, I told you.. I like to write eyhh in this case, typing.. haha..ok lameeee!! I just write whatever come across in my mind now regardless anything.. I write with thoughts that is a bit mixed up with feelings.. past and current.. People say history repeats itself but what if it doesnt repeat??? and what if the present people help to prevent that history to repeat again?? have you guys ever thought about it?? prevention is better than cure right?? That is why we have trial and error??? That is why we have giver, taker and doer... am I right?? again.. what am I talking about??haha.... urgh! working on Sunday makes me Sunday blues and not Monday blues... hahaha.. So, i write all these crap...

Well, what should I do now?? Hurmmmm, I am thinking to be silent and let people do whatever they wanna do.. Just wanna sit tight and enjoy the show.. People can keep on hating me because I hope it wont effects me because I am still earning and I have work, graduated, have car..what else should I need?? ouh.. a good and understanding partner who gonna love me and my family... hahaha.. that one..Saya berserah kepada yang Maha Esa kerana kita hanya merancang Dia yang mementukannya.

I think that's all for now... Ketandusan Idea..hehe...Cheers!!
Till then xoxo :)

Dear Readers,

Its been a while now..October is over and im still me, no excitement to write and to joy about. I dont want to live in denial and faking all to others but hey, i am happy the way i am now.. I am happy with the most important people in my life.. and being with this person makes me stronger and I would care less about what other people gonna think  about me because at the end people surround us wont be there for us right??? They are there just for the happy time and not for the sad and sorrow... Well this kind of people, would never be in my list because hey... I have so many things to do than begging for your attention... Friends in need is a friend indeed.... That's what I believe because a true friends will always be there for you through anything no matter what and accept anything no matter what but with brain and not merely far as im attached with my emotions I also rule my life with mind and I will think again and again to make it right... heehhehehe... getting old..ouh damn! but as far as I am concerned, I have a wonderful family and friends that are very supportive. Im blessed!!!!

It might gonna hurt and people will talk but let them talk because the more they talk the more DOA and good deeds will return to me and I cant go to everyone and shut their mouth rightttt.. hehehe..

By the way, have Faith!!! coz no matter how far you've go, if the foundation is strong then you will never lost in your journey and you will back to square one... By His will.. :)

I know this because I have faith in this... but whatever it is.. We can only plan it and He will grant it.. but have faith in what I am doing now is something what I should do long time ago.. but its not too late to doing so right??? Get things right and work it out...hahahah...


Till then, xoxo :)

Hey readers,

a wind blow whilst the tears occured.... what more can i say except the subtle sadness and happiness are just trembling inside me... there's nothing i can say except to face it with my whole heart.. its been a week now.. ive to be strong no matter what... well, its  a loooongggg way to go... career is ahead of me.. i need to reach and grab it.. i am sick and tired of all the drama that is happening and what is the result??? hahahha... that is something typical.. well, its not my fault to grew up with malay surroundings and having such a lovely families... i am a family oriented person eventhough sometime i need my time alone but yeah... having a big family make me realized that i should stay as what i am and not change for someone who cant even accept mine perception. there's always a phrase saying... "if you really loves someone, he or she will fight for you and put you first above all and will save the relationship if there's you in each other's future" well, i think that is my quote..hahahaha... well, whatever it is... I am good the way i am.. being alone is not bad at all.. it is just like you are having a holiday for yourself and away from anyone  that will burden youo with stress and work... having a 'me time' is something that i should do because i dont have my own precious time for my self... so, hell yeah!!! haahahha...

AS for now, as long as my finger is empty i will not commit my self to it just hurt to be committed to someone and the result is just not even near to what we are expected :)

Cheers babeyh :)

pray for my happiness and hopefully more greatful and prosperity for me in the near future..

Till then xoxo :)

7th October 2012....

This is the day for me to celebrate after long tiring and awesome years as a student in IIUM... I managed to finished my studies on track and graduated with my fellow friends.

To see the smile on your parents face is something you cant describe how happy they were and how proud they are. I am lucky to have both of you mama and abah. I know i am not a brilliant 4 flat student but to see the smile on your face is something miracle that i cant described it with words..any words.. but Alhamdulillah... i am proud to be your daughter abah and mama.

Annnddd.. 7th October was a very important date for me.. i've made it to the end!!! a scroll on my longer a student but a degree holder now..officially!! i am soo parents are happy.. we are more than happy..graduation pictures.. studio pictures.. thanks abab and mama for the studio pictures.. and nazrin my bro for the flowers n doraemon doll.. eiqa for the u came...some pressieees..anddddd my one and only love... Mr.FA!! He came all the way from Sunway after a very tiring work yet to see my convocation day, thanks LOVE!!

Overall..I am so happy..the thought is count!! where all my important person is there with me on my big day as a IIUM Graduate!!! yeayyy!! xoxo

Dear Readers,

There's a lot to share to u guys about how exciting my september was.

First of all, my birthday and FA's mom birthday is just one day different. Mine is on 7 and his mom is on 8. So, we celebrated our birthday together at VS Jalan Ampang. But sadly, FA cant join us due to work at Pangkor Island. Poor him, its his favourite food place.

September babies birthday celebration :)

Secondly, after the clebration... I've decided to prolong the excitement to the next level which was a holiday and weekend gateway. After celerated my birthday without him with us. We continue my post celebration to an Island with both of my good friends and the best part is my bff birthday is on 10th. So, celebrate with her at the island. :)

Our short visit and an excitement... Double birthday celebration, our 9th month together and weekend gateaway from the hassle and work. 3 days was worth every second. There's no network except for Celcom.. Edge ok!! hahah.. but im happy coz we dont have to think about work but just ease our mind.

Thanks FA for the birthday gift. Its nothing compared to the material.. Time and memories are more than enough to make me happy.

Everything went smoothly eventhough there's ups and down in life but we managed to achieved the 10th on on 3 oct :).

Pray for our happiness guys..

Thanks..till then xoxo

Dear Readers,

Just a quick one... its my 4 months in Brunsfield Embassyview now.. I love my job and my colleagues.. All of them are very supportive and good to each other especially my lady boss.. The most nicest lady boss ever.. As u can see, many boss have their own attitude but my boss is my nice and act like a mom to us. Me like it. I will work hard and gain as much knowledge that i can to prove to everyone that i have some a talent which havent been polished yet.

Love life? Well nothing much to say.. there's ups and down in every relationship. So do I.. Sometimes the wave just cant be predicted and sometimes as calm as a lake. Well, from the bottom of my heart. I do love him and no one else except FA..InsyaAllah.. Hope Allah blessed us.. Ameen..

P/s: will update something later because using office pc cant upload pix..heheh

Till then guys..xoxo

hey readers,

how are u guys doing? ouh sunday... im working on right??? hahha...owh well, cant complaint much coz hey this is work..working life.. real life... well, i dont know why i open this blog and start typing shit in here. hahaha..well~ i think this is the only medium that can soothe me than being with human... i guess so.. reality is?? i like to write than talking to people because it is like talking to myself... i dont have people to judge me but its me to judge my own self... i have the emotional problem which i want to control..lately, i managed to control it slowly... i know my capability and i hate to be hurt again.... sakit bila kita berubah and people didnt see any changes about us.. well, i know Allah is with me and HE knows whatever i feel... being alone is not bad actually but lonely is not good either... i love my job and i love my life... i had enough of disappointment and pain... i know i am not good at anything that people good at.. sometimes i feel like a loser coz i cant make anyone happy... maybe i should go somewhere and be alone without anyone that i kenal ada kat my surroundings. maybe i should do will make me realized and think what I really want in life... as for now, marriage is no longer my priority.. i dont want to get married and have a child.. this is random right..but i dont see any important to have a family if people think that i am not ready to do so... responsibilty will be on head and shoulder and i am not ready to take it ready as i was before but now, it seems shading away and people make me think that it is not the right time to do so... who knows if people or my family can change my mind and open my heart to accept marriage openly cz as for now.. enough of disappointment and cz i am not ready to be one now.. just crapping my ars here.. i typed whatever i feel cz this is the only place that calm me down and listen to me.. cz as an introvert person i rather keep silent than talking to people cz i might hurt someone's feeling without me realizing it... sometimes i hate to be with human... i just dont know why..ok, aku dah start merapu lagi ni.. hahahah..sangat lawak kannn... well, once a month, the mood swing will happened... its just how we express by day i move on and change slowly.. Alhamdulillah..

i should get back to work, bills to count and key in! :(

till then readers,

hey readers..... im back with some not to say excitement but something that i wanna share with you readers...

ok here we go, its been my dream to go holiday since my last one to Langkawi....usually i will go for a holiday once a year and during my vacation period..

2 july - bus depart to LCCT at 4.30 and i was rushing to the KL Sentral to catch the bus but cheh! the bus only depart after the bus is full... so it departed at 5am... 1 hour journey to LCCT,  check-in at the machine then  head to cafe, grabbed our early breakfast then we straight go to the gate.....everything went well, only the KASTAM part is difficult...hoho, dont bring anything more than 100ml ok... haha. flight delayed for about 10 mins but its ok, arrived 35 mins earlier, the duration just 45 mins to Padang..huhu...and of course landed safely....reached at 8.50am local time, then  waiting for the supir to fetch me, people there are friendly just like Malaysia, what else if you know how to speak their language...hehe...then we straightaway head to Padang Panjang to seek for the main purpose which is kainnn...hehe, Rambang mata ok to see all these kainn...damn! before that i went for lunch as i already had our early breakfast.. today, spending the time at textile shop, go around Padang town and at night...see their culture..karaoke time with them, damn funny!!!

3july- waked up at 10am, waiting for supir, then had my breakfast... after that , heading to bukit tinggi but then, damn freaking jammed!! stopped at yesterday's shop again, shop again, back to the hotel and do some light shopping at their pasar malam... huhu..i  have to get back early to the hotel because  wanna packing up coz tomorrow flight at 8.30am... overall, it was a damn nice experienced and i love it...

till then xoxo

it's been a while since my last update....i just wanna share wif u guys that my 2010 is a blast and we are leaving it in 2 weeks time...ouh, i hate it!! many events are happening in 2010....i met the wonderful people...i went for a kewl holidays...there are so many memorable events....they are the sparks of my life... these are some of the pics that i can share with u guys about my activities with my superb people....

hye readers,

as if i have loyal readers..hahaha.. ouh well just a quick stories.. this is my second month is Brunsfield and the office politics is heating up now, when all the superior are from the same field before they join this company, then what will happened?? listen to each other and scold others like a bullet before listen to any explanation... WELL, THAT is what happened to me now... every work that ive done, they never see it.. but when u make a mistake, they bamboo u...if one on one..i would say...toleration will be take place..but when 2 persons confronted 1 person..memang kena lah kannnn... cant fight for yourself pun...hahaha.. ouh well, have to buck up and prove that i can do it.... what ever happened take it as a lesson.

Sometimes in life, we need someone who can appreciate and recognize us.. someone who can understand and tolerate with us... when people do good..a simple thank you would be nice to hear or even a nice words conveyed... this is something needed when we are in a mess.. but disappointment is what we get right? we cant expect everything to be perfect or what we want. people wont change for us, coz that is just their attitude and bamboo cant be tune anymore...if they dont want to learn then let them be.. we must move on and be a better person cz at the end people will recognize and appreciate you.. patience is virtue.. if religious is crap then why shud u need faith right??? im proud to be Islam and have a religion for me to count on... my heart will not be astray far from the route... Allah loves me and all mankind. I love Allah and my religion.. i learn day by day, patience is virtue, be good to people and people will do good to u... do something and expect nothing.. manusia akan belajar sendiri cuma kita yang perlu bimbing either verbally and tacit... whatever it is I have to be strong and patience coz Allah will always be with me. Ameen :)

Hi readers,

How are you guys feeling?? is everything good?? well there is something that i can share in june because i got the job in Brunsfield. The very first company that i went after my final exams ended. my first interview was in february and it didn't go quite well. But hey, i am back with Brunsfield uniform, ID tag, access card etc. they called up for my second interview in May at Brunsfield Embassyview Condosuite jalan Ampang and this is my work place now. oh oh! i forgot, i started work on 4th June 2012. hehe, ssoooo im kinda new here in the company. I love my workplace and my colleagues are so nice. Even my boss!! hehe...Customer Service Officer, that is my position. I am not demanding on the position now because as a fresh graduate we cant be picky unless we have experience and of course very very top student of the university which i am not... heheheh.. but hey, as long as i have a job and can support me..i am more than happy.. not married no big commitment.. so yeah...what more to expect right??? if we are born in a silver spoon family then it is another stories.. Syukur for what i have and this is what i want.. to be a Brunsfielder.. hehehehe...ok that is for my work life.

we jump to  my love life pulak ok??

hahahaha.. sengal kan???? soooo, where should i start yeah?? i am still with mr. FA..we are 6 months now.. half a year man.. time flies without we realizing it. Actually, i feel like i am dreaming... 6 months and another 2 weeks, we'll reach the 7 months..i am happy..Alhamdulillah :).. Quarrel is normal..sweet and sour of life.. it spices our life... without it we can't see the happiness of it.. hehehe...Allah gave someone to you for a reason... a challenge to face, Allah wont give you such challenge that you cant far, Alhamdulillah..i am keeping by day.. InsyaAllah.. my happiness is for me to achieve by my own effort and not others...people may shower u with love, joy, money etc but it me to choose and draw my life to what i wanna be. I love my man so much, i do.. i just want some change from him and everyone surroundings are waiting the same thing... heheh.. a  miracle will happen with His permission.

overall: my love life is good.. and sometimes ombak.. hehehe :) but i love my FA.

till then fellas :)

dear readers,

its been a while since my last updates... actually i dont know what to write because entah lah.. somehow i need to let go of my feelings coz i am just a human being and i cant keep it to myself. it is painful. I just need a true happiness that will make me glowing because i already feel bored and fed up with my surroundings. this is new for me because i never have this kind of feelings before. stay at home and doing nothing is better than meeting people and lepak. there's no excitement anymore. i dont feel the spark in my life. i have no enthusiasm in life like before. what is wrong with me? sometimes i tend to sit alone and cry without i realized. my life is miserable and empty. i dont have the spark and joy. i feel nothing. Ya Allah, i need my energy and power to cheer. i dont have anyone that can support me all day and be with me and give me strength to stand up and wake up. why i dont have that kind of person with me? who can bring me out and make me happy without hurting my feelings or anything? i need to be love. i miss all my friends that make me feels important and love me and never give up to cheer me up. i cant count on them anymore. mostly dah married and back in the hometown. so, guess...i am all alone to cheer my own self coz seriously, no one can help me... even the one that i love. coz i feel nothing accept disappointment and sadness and boredom........ i pun dah tak tahu nak cakap apa cz i neever feel this before.. bosan and no spark. if u feel the same... just follow your heart and brain because why wanna push your luck if it cant be save anymore kan??? hahaha... apa aku merepek ni????

ok readers,

hey readers,

i had a very tense day today.. i supposed to be at charity walk for austism, but i woke up late due to tiredness.. drove to putrajaya with nearly 1 hour plus stuck in da jam and same goes bila balik KL... i was too tired and im really sorry to whom it may concern for not showing up today. i feel guilty for doing so...i am really sorry... its my responsible to wake up as early as i can. i should teach my self to be alert on the alarm. sigh.. i feel bad though. coz this event is an important event for them. why i am so careless about it. i shouldnt get angry or snapped right. i know it is my fault and i should be more alert next time since i am working now. i should be alert and focus on my life and my task. sigh... no matter what ireen..u should learn from your mistake.

hey readers,

well, where should i start?? in life, we will never escape from too...i did a lot of mistakes... ive regretted it and..... this is so random! when he showed up to my house's doorstep and im shocked! he really did it.... now i know that i shouldnt treated him like before... he is worth it..he has done so many things that i cant imagine it.. i should control my emotions and i love him.. i do..only me seen something in him... i should focusing on him now...reconcile...starting over! :)  idk what else to write but what i know is... my friend.. din has on his knee just now.. i was like omg!!! in public area... congrats bro! makan nasi minyakkk.. :)

hey readers,

im back with new stories... ouh well.. every blog that i wrote, everything has to do with sadness and love.. well this time is just the same s***... 03032012 was our 3rd months and yeah... i did planned to have dinner with him..instead i replied the BBM for 10 mins late and he pissed off...basically, the day started with bad day... i dont know what else to write... if u have been patience with me, me too.... im sorry i didnt care for you that much like your friend does... she's the only one that care for you so much and dying to help you.. u seem dont need gf at all.... your bff does anything that your gf supposed to do.. well, im sorry if you're reading this.. but i think u guys suit each other.. cz as a new girl in your life, i cant cope anymore..i did do everything but u didnt see it but everyone surround you did see it... you will never change for good.. its always you and you.. for other people in your life? will always to be YOU... i guess... this thing wont working out after i beg and kneel down for you to forgive me.. accept me back is a big NO for i guess im done here.. i dont need another person to make me cry over and over again.. i dont need this anymore.. my tears are more worth than your ego and pride... if you have yours..i have mine... ive throw it away when i accept you as my BF after ive rejected you for quite sometimes... ive seen your effort but it just last to get me as your gf and not for the rest of the relationship... this is not what i want.. same goes to you... ive done crying and do all eff up things back then..i just need a man to guide and love me.. seems like you are not the one that im looking for.. you always tell me that im STUPID without realizing that you are more stupid that i am coz u are dating a person that u called stupid... i am stupid for believing in you... that you will handle all things together and not to make me cry and will make me happy.. but u broke your promises..that is why i broke mine.. u made promises that u cant even remember...yeah, i screwed my chance that u gave but i think it is worth it.. thanks for pushed me away... its a hint that i shouldnt be back with you coz you are nothing differ than the previous ones... NOTHING NADA!!!! stop saying you are good cz you are not.. the moment you brought up my past..then i knew.. i will have a bleak future at the end... and yes...lucky me..i screwed up in early stage cz as far as i concern, u will never change and u will repeating your own mistakes without you realizing it and blame others to hide your mistakes.. so CIAO fella!

till then... xoxo

hey readers,

it's been a while after my last update....well there's nothing much to say about me lately.. cause im busy with work now... a very tiring work which make me wanna quit so much! ouh well.. at least i still have HIM with me... my sweet and sour sayangness... the cure and the poison.. ouh, this is sooo true! hahahha...everything that happened is for a reason and yeah so does him...He some how made my day alive with his mengadaness and jokes... i love him..yes i do! we've been trough a lot eventhough we're just in 2 months relationships and guess what.. next week is our 3rd months.. and im looking forward for the number to change and not stop at one particular number... FA i love u sayang... i do... :)



my beloved BFF!

my beloved BFF!
who always support me no matter what!