thoughts of !ReeN

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hye there...i'm ireen a.k.a Erin among my friends..ya'll can address me with any name mentioned coz both referred to me...haha..let's make it simple..Political Science's graduate, i'm a daughter to my parents and an eldest sister of 5 siblings...happy go lucky, talkative sometimes..hey know me than u know how suffer u'll be..very manja???..haha..it's fact..wait, unpredictable and have something in mind..huhu...well try to be one of mine then u judge me k.. till then... XOXO

hey readers,

how are u guys doing? ouh sunday... im working on sunday..sucks right??? hahha...owh well, cant complaint much coz hey this is work..working life.. real life... well, i dont know why i open this blog and start typing shit in here. hahaha..well~ i think this is the only medium that can soothe me than being with human... i guess so.. reality is?? i like to write than talking to people because it is like talking to myself... i dont have people to judge me but its me to judge my own self... i have the emotional problem which i want to control..lately, i managed to control it slowly... i know my capability and i hate to be hurt again.... sakit bila kita berubah and people didnt see any changes about us.. well, i know Allah is with me and HE knows whatever i feel... being alone is not bad actually but lonely is not good either... i love my job and i love my life... i had enough of disappointment and pain... i know i am not good at anything that people good at.. sometimes i feel like a loser coz i cant make anyone happy... maybe i should go somewhere and be alone without anyone that i kenal ada kat my surroundings. maybe i should do that..it will make me realized and think what I really want in life... as for now, marriage is no longer my priority.. i dont want to get married and have a child.. this is random right..but i dont see any important to have a family if people think that i am not ready to do so... responsibilty will be on head and shoulder and i am not ready to take it yet...as ready as i was before but now, it seems shading away and people make me think that it is not the right time to do so... who knows if people or my family can change my mind and open my heart to accept marriage openly cz as for now.. enough of disappointment and cz i am not ready to be one now.. hahahhaaa...im just crapping my ars here.. i typed whatever i feel cz this is the only place that calm me down and listen to me.. cz as an introvert person i rather keep silent than talking to people cz i might hurt someone's feeling without me realizing it... sometimes i hate to be with human... i just dont know why..ok, aku dah start merapu lagi ni.. hahahah..sangat lawak kannn... well, once a month, the mood swing will happened... its just how we express it..day by day i move on and change slowly.. Alhamdulillah..

i should get back to work, bills to count and key in! :(

till then readers,

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